Giving up my baby for adoption

Giving up my baby for adoption - Words matter…they really do. 

By Marilu, adoption counselor

In the world of adoption, the way you say things makes all the difference in how the other person receives it or hears it. When we speak about a woman “giving up her baby for adoption”, it is considered more politically correct to say “making an adoption plan for her child” or “placing a child for adoption”. That being said, adoption is actually really all about “giving” to a child. Maybe the pregnancy was not planned, but a woman can plan the adoption by working through all the options and implications before her child arrives. 

When a birth mom chooses adoption for her child, she chooses to give her child the kind of life she may not be able to provide at that time. She gives her child the type of family that perhaps she wished she’d had. She gives of her heart by placing her child’s needs before her own feelings. In an open adoption, she gives her child more family…more people to love him or her. When a birth mother selects a family to adopt her child, they are often times waiting at the hospital ready to take a parenting role from the very beginning. It is the love and generosity of a child’s birth mother which leads her to choose to give this privilege to her child and to the adoptive parents. Once again, there is so much giving in all of these choices.

“To me, the phrase “placing your child for adoption” implies that a mother is giving careful thought and planning into deciding whether adoption is right for her child.  It indicates that she has made an intentional choice for her child’s future. These actions are part of the many ways a birth mother gives to her child.”

I have been involved in hundreds of adoptions over the years and have walked side by side with many women who have chosen adoption for their children. I think it is important to recognize the selfless love and strength shown by birth mothers. While it may not be politically correct to say “Giving up your child for adoption” I can’t imagine a more loving way of GIVING to your child.

If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy, please give me a call. I’d love to sit down with you face to face and get to know you some. For Melanie and I, birth mothers come first and we will do our best to meet your needs. Call or text 850-815-5858.